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Sexual problems are common conditions affecting both males and females. They can occur at different ages and across different stages of relationships. Sexual problems are not just problems of older individuals or couples that have been together for a long time. Common sexual problems include, low sex-drive or no interest in sex, premature ejaculation or erection problems, pain during intercourse, not enjoying physical intimacy.

Often, there is a great stigma associated to these difficulties – It could be very difficult to admit that this is happening, and to take steps to overcome these problems. This frequently leads to relationship dissatisfaction and sometimes even to conflict.

There might be an underlying physical cause (e.g. low testosterone levels) or medical factors contributing to these problems (e.g. some medications affecting sex drive). As a result, a consultation with a GP is a recommended starting point for someone having these types of problems. In addition, it is important to examine psychological factors and aspects of the relationship that may cause or play a role in maintaining the problems. Addressing any psychological problems and improving the relationship may be key in overcoming these issues, and having an enjoyable, satisfying, and intimate sexual relationship.

There are a number of common ‘sex killers’, including the following:

  • Stress
  • Poor work-personal life/relationship balance
  • Relationship problems: lack of intimacy, communication problems, conflict
  • Alcohol and drug abuse
  • Psychological problems: depression, anxiety, low self-esteem etc.

There are also a number of solutions to overcoming these problems, including the following:

  • Improve your relationship: work on building trust, improving communication and intimacy. Spent quality time together (re-) discovering each other.
  • Learn to be comfortable with your own (changing) body, sexuality, and intimacy with your partner
  • Overcome specific sexual problems in consultation with your GP, psychologist, or other specialist. They can advice on specific techniques and interventions to help you or your partner.

Remember, you don’t need to suffer in silence and accept a poor or problematic sexual relationship. There are various options for help and support available to you and your partner to have a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Dr Gregor Lange – Consultant Clinical Psychologist

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