TLC to most couple’s is mentioned casually in passing as a hint or gesture of something desired but not really expected in this fast paced cosmopolitan lifestyle. It hardly evokes the real response it was intended for and is so deeply needed in all relationships.
Some might not recognize it as an action word and think of only as a catchy acronym. But if you look, each of the letters in TLC represent an action.
Act with Care
TLC can apply to every aspect of a relationship, not just the sexual dynamic. You can apply TLC to planning a holiday or doing your taxes together. It’s starting point is an attitude towards loving your partner. For example “Acts of Service” should be sacrificial. While she might think you sweet for the flowers your bought on your way home from work, finding out they were next to the cashier in 7-11, when you were buying a newspaper, might make the gesture nosedive.
As a counsellor I was asked to offer some insight into TLC and rather than re-invent the wheel, I would like to just offer some points from the experts who have gone before me. These are excerpts from a book titled Ten Commandments for Every Aspect of Your Relationship Journey.
Daily make gestures of appreciation, admiration and gratitude.
Dr. Stan Tatkin
If you want your partner loving, sexy and exciting, treat your partner as loving, sexy and exciting.
Dr. Ayala Pines
Pursue a mutually satisfying agreement about sex.
Dr. Pat Love
Promise to support what lights your partner up, even if it has nothing to do with you.
Dr. Lisa Firestone
Give your partner the gift of your undivided attention. For at least ten minutes a day, without the distraction of children or electronic devices, spend time reconnecting with one another.
Dr. Tami Kulbatski
Say I’m sorry, when you know you are wrong or responsible for harm.
Dr. Michael Yapko and Diane Yapko
The goal of marriage is to make another happy. Too often we focus on what we are getting and not what we are giving.
Dr. Jon Carlson
The above are self explanatory but if you want to go above and beyond these and don’t know what TLC means to your partner… just ask them.
Glenn Graves, Psychologist.